Wicked Without Remorse

Nais kang magsabi ng Thank You sa lahat ng mga kaibigan na nakaalala at bumati sa aking Birthday nung Sabado. Salamat sa mga nag-text at tumawag. Hanggang ngayon ay naka-save pa rin sa inbox ko ang mga messages nyo. ‘Di pa ako nagsasawang basahin ng paulit-ulit.

Alam nyo namang lahat na ako ay 28 years old na ngayon. During the days leading to my birthday, lagi akong nalulungkot. Totoo pala na may ganung feeling, yung kinatatakutan mo ang pagsapit ng birthday mo kasi madadagdagan ka na naman ng isang taon. Ang una ko ngang balak ay magkulong lang sa bahay at pagtaguan ang buong mundo, baka sakaling makalimutan ko na birthday ko.

Pero nung Sabado, dahil sa pagmamahal na ipinaramdam ninyo, labis ang kasiyahan ko. Wala na akong paki-alam kahit tumatanda na talaga ako. Na-realize ko, nakakatakot lang tumanda kung di mo kapiling ang mga mahal mo at ang mga taong mahal mo.

Na-overcome ko na ang takot na yun. I’m now ready for the rest of my life.

(originally posted in my blogspot on June 26, 2007)

These are the other photos taken during and after the staging of Hawla at the Medicine Forum Hall last Saturday. I’d like to say thank you to my friend Real Florido and Vidal Condicion for providing these pictures.
 

Si Shiela Cris sa kanyang pinaka-balahurang papel bilang Procula Baculcol. Disi-otso, hostes sa club, kumakain tatlong beses sa isang araw sa pawis ng pagpuputa.

Si Joseph Molina, isang baguhan sa Magwayen. Unang sabak pa lang ay matinding papel na ang kanyang ginampanan, bilang si Francis Villafuerte - isang adik na rebelde sa kanyang mga magulang. "

Si Marvin Hilario, pinalakpakan dahil sa very intense at makatotohanan niyang pagganap bilang Eric Sandoval - ang call boy na muling nagbukas ng puso sa pag-ibig ngunit minalas at nabigong muli. "Kaya nga hindi ako marunong magmahal, dahil lagi nila akong iniiwan."

Si Alyssa Paula Tomas sa isang mapanghamong papel bilang si Jenny Beck, ang pipi na HIV positive. "Hindi itong sakit ko ang unti-unting pumapatay sa akin, kundi ang mundong mapanghusga ngunit ni katiting na pang-unawa ay wala."

Si Ronald Decena sa isang naiiba at di malilimutang pagganap bilang si Joy, ang tapat na kaibigang handang hamunin ang lipunang ignorante at mapanghusga. "Ano pa ang silbi na ika’y nakapagsasalita, kung ang lahat naman ay nagbibingi-bingihan lamang."

Si Anna Paula Montano bilang si Lorna Herrera, who claims that "sex was that good during those days". Hinangaan muli si Paula dahil sa tindi ng kanyang pagganap at mga dayalog na tanging siya lang ang kayang magbitaw.

Ang nakaaaliw na pagganap ni Marilen Hernandez bilang kikay at maarteng si Rona. Muling nagbabalik sa entablado ng Magwayen si Len to delight the audience with her charms and funny portrayal of a girl who treats her man with porn.

Si Marvin Avila sa kanyang breakthrough performance bilang si Michael, ang lalaking nagkasala ng isang gabi ngunit siningil ng mahal. Pinatunayan ni Marvin ang kanyang galing sa pagganap sa napakalungkot na kwento ng pagsisisi.

Si Real Randolph Florido bilang JR Gallardo ay agad minahal ng audience dahil sa swabeng pagganap niya bilang psychologist na tumipon sa mga characters ng Hawla.

Gumanap din si John Paul Velasco bilang Joy, ka-alternate ni Ronald. Ampol gave an equally brilliant performance. Pinatunayan ni Ampol na kaya niyang umatake ng mga seryosong papel. Dalang-dala ang audience sa instensity ng performances niya.

Unang itinanghal ang Hawla noong February 1999, sa panuto ni Shengka Mangahas. Bilang paghahanda sa nalalapit na unang dekadang kaarawan ng Magwayen, muling inihandog ng grupo ang Hawla, sa bago nitong bihis - bagong cast at bagong direktor, sa katauhan ni John Borgy Danao.

(Originally posted in my Blogspot on June 26, 2007)

Dahil na-involve ako sa preparations ng dalawang malaking proyekto ng Magwayen sa pagbubukas ng schoolyear na ito, I got the chance to re-visit my Alma Mater - ang Pamantasan ng Lungsod ng Maynila. Kung susumahin, I’ve been in and out of this University sa nakalipas na 13 taon: 5 years bilang estudyante, 4 years bilang empleyado, at 4 years bilang karaniwang alumni.

Subalit sa pagdalaw kong muli nitong Hunyo sa Pamantasan, tila nanibago ako. I was enchanted by its beauty. ‘Di ko namalayan, kinukunan ko na pala ito ng mga litrato.

I have many fond memories of PLM. Marami akong namimiss. Yung pakikipagpatintero sa mga guards, yung pangongopya ng assignment sa lab class ni Mr. Santos, yung pagtambay sa shed na parang walang exam kinahapunan. Maraming beses akong umibig at nabigo. Piping saksi ang PLM field habang bumubuhos ang luha ko.

May mga panahon nun na wala akong kapera-pera. Minsan, lumilipas ang maghapon na walang laman ang tyan ko. Awa naman ng Diyos, wala akong kinasangkutang gulo. Pero ‘di ibig sabihin ay geek ako. Isang beses sa isang sem nga lang ako magpunta ng library e.

Pero nung mga panahong nasa PLM pa ako, I never took the time to stare at the buildings, at the field, at everything. I never thought I’d be mesmerized.

Haaay… Tumatanda na nga ako.

EPISODE 6

          Vikhoune held Adam’s hand as they walked out of the room. Adam is seeing the surroundings for the first time. He realized that Vikhoune had taken him in a bunker. There were people all over the place, dressed in weird forms of clothing. Adam now knows that they are not part of a parade. They are dead men and women from various periods of time.

          Vikhoune led him to several hallways and flights of stairs until they reached a glass door. No, wait. It ain’t glass at all. It’s made of thick ice.

          "Where are you taking me?" asked Adam. Vikhoune did not respond. She pressed her hand on the door, which suddenly went ablaze. Adam removed his hand from Vikhoune’s grasp and stepped back, feeling a mix of shock and amazement.

          "Do not be afraid, Adam," Vikhoune said softly.

          Maybe it was the reassuring tone of her voice. Maybe it was the way she looked at him. Maybe it was the calmness in the way she moves. Whatever the reason, Adam knew it was safe to follow her, even as she entered the blazing door. She vanished, swallowed up by the flames.

          Adam stood there for a moment. He doesn’t know what awaits him on the other side. But he knew he had to take that step. He closed his eyes tightly and balled his hands into fists. He held his breath and plunged into the fiery gate.

EPISODE 5         

          Adam thought of all the stories he have heard and read about the purgatory. He never actually believed it existed, although he found it amusing, both as an ingredient in many fictional works and as a facet of catholic belief. It was often defined as a place where those who have died expiate their sins by suffering to receive the grace of God.

          The discovery that he was at the purgatory came as no surprise for Adam. He didn’t consider himself a good man when he was still alive. He had three girlfriends aside from Marie. His success at work came at the expense of many friends who deserved the promotions more. He only goes to Church on Christmas Eve, and sometimes on his birthday. He was always thinking of himself.

          But he wasn’t all bad, though. He loved his brothers so much and would do everything for them. He never drank a bottle of beer or smoked a cigarette in his lifetime. There were times when he would find himself compassionate and sensitive, that even he himself was surprised. And despite the gross absence from Church on Sundays, he believed in a God.

          “What I saw… Is that how I died?” Adam asked.

          “You cannot deny death when you see it,” Vikhoune answered, repeating what she said earlier. Her voice is shrill and almost haunting. “The purgatory perpetually taunts you by evoking the moment of your death when you look into your own eyes. The same happens when you look into others’ eyes. You see their death, as you have seen mine.”

          The visions he had at the park when he first met Vikhoune came back to Adam’s head. He saw her commit suicide by slashing her throat with a broken piece of mirror. He cringed at the violence of these images. He wondered if it was possible that this quiet, innocent-looking girl was really capable of such ferocity.

          “What happens now?” Adam asked.

          For the first time, the monotony in the girl’s facial expression was broken. She raised an eyebrow. It seemed she did not understand the question posed by Adam. She sat at the edge of the bed and looked down. “There is nothing,” she replied quietly. “We are here to linger, to suffer and be given no respite. We relive our death, see our past recur endlessly, inundating us in our regrets, guilt, and remorse. There is nothing here, nothing more, but death.”

          Adam shook his head. “That’s not what this place is! There is heaven, or hell for that matter. We are here to do penance, if we choose so. Purgatory is not a final dwelling!”

          The girl stood with a bolt. Her face displayed anger this time. “You know not what you speak of! Beware! Continue this barrage, and death shall certainly come your way once more!”

          Adam was intrigued by her ominous tone. “What do you mean?”

          “The black cloak shall come and get you, and he shall perish you. I saved you once. But next time, there may be more of them.” Vikhoune stepped closer to him and whispered to his ear. “Do your chores! Come with me, where you shall be safe. But only if you stop blaspheming this place.”

          “What chores?” Adam wanted to know. “And I’m in danger? I’m already dead!”

          “This place is a sanctuary," replied Vikhoune. "And it will remain as such for you if you shut your mouth. Now, come with me!”

          Ang Purgatoryo ay isang antolohiya na aking nilikha simula pa noong 2003. Ito ay kwento ng isang mundo kung saan nagtatagpo ang kaluluwa ng mga namatay, mga engkanto at mga nilalang ng kabilang buhay. Narito ang ilang trivia tungkol sa Purgatoryo:

1.     Ang babaeng tutulong kay Adam sa kwento ay pinangalanang Vikhoune (pronounced as vi-kun) sunod sa pangalan ng isa kong kaibigan mula sa Laos.

2.     Ang numero ng kwarto ni Adam sa hotel ay numero ng cabin ko sa barkong Nippon Maru noong mag-cruise kami sa Southeast Asia for SSEAYP, taong 2003.

3.     Isa sa mga inspirasyon ng kwento ay ang pelikulang Matrix, hence the dark undertones of the story.

4.     Isinulat ang Purgatoryo upang maisali sa short story category ng Palanca Awards for Literature. Kaya lang, lumawak nang lumawak ang kwento nina adam at Vikhoune, hanggang hindi na siya short story.

5.     Ang Purgatoryo ay isang work in process. Patuloy na isinusulat, wala pang ending.

By 28th August next year, Magwayen will celebrate its 10th Anniversary. The Magwayen alumni, fondly referred to as its Elders, have great plans for this momentous event. Although none of them are in writing yet, hehehe. But there have been talks about a dinner concert at a Hotel, a commemorative coffeetable book, the launching of the Magwayen ID, and a lot more. Everybody’s excited already. But busy and conflicting schedules, financial resources, and other logistical concerns stand in the way. Ang maganda lang, mahigit isang taon pa bago dumating ang mahalagang araw na yun. Mahaba-habang panahon pa para lubusang makapaghanda. Well, we’re all hoping for the best. Wow! Isang dekada na ang Magwayen! It’s simply amazing.